He haunts me in my dreams…

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I had a dream that my First Love called me out of the blue and I didn’t even recognize his voice. I was caught by surprise because I thought we were trying to avoid communicating with each other. We did some catching up, until finally he got to the point of why he called. He was asking me to get back together with him. I was completely shocked. I asked him, “Why now?” I was upset because I had given up all hope of ever getting back together with him for various reasons. Now here he was telling me how lonely he has been feeling and how much he missed me.

I felt so confused. I asked him about his crazy drug/alcohol/party lifestyle and he assured me that he changed and was ready to be a real, responsible man in a relationship.

I guess this dream is significant because a mutual friend of ours is having a get together and both of us are going to be there. I remember the last time we were at their party, towards the end of the night, all of our good friends were coupled and we were the only two single people there. It seems so convenient to just be a couple. All our friends know and like us both but so many things stand in the way of us being together – we have a complicated history full of pain that I don’t know if either of us can recover from. He’s the one person I try so hard to forget. I push him away, only to be drawn to him each time I see him. I can’t stop caring or thinking about him.

I highly doubt he will ask me to get back together with him in real life but I guess I’m indulging in the possibility of it and I would probably say no if he did.

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One thought on “He haunts me in my dreams…

  1. I’d hate to be presumptious enough to tell you what to do, but I’ve been in a similar situation, and it’s like the allure of the forbidden fruit. We want what we can’t have, not always because it’s out of our reach. Sometimes we have who we want, but they aren’t what we want. And I read somewhere, we don’t always need what we want. You might still have some feelings for ths guy, but is he what you need? Someone who’ll make you a better person? You need to ask yourself all those things. Hope you’re doing okay, fellow Luna-tic. 🙂

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